the simple tips you need to keep in your anxiety toolbox
The first time I heard that I might have anxiety, I was sitting in a sterile-but-comfortable chair across from a therapist and I had just turned fourteen. I was describing the way I was waking up every morning with a racing heart and racing mind when my therapist used that word to describe things back to me: anxiety. She let me know that the way I couldn’t calm down or fall asleep or focus were all typical symptoms and were definitely due to the difficult things I was going through at the time.
It wasn’t until I was eighteen that it was suggested that I might need intensive help for anxiety. Everyone experiences anxiety in some degree but I was starting to exhibit symptoms of panic disorder and the rollercoaster of panic attacks was beginning to leave me feeling like a cloth wrung dry. I was at my wit’s end.
My personal anxiety management has been a priority since then and over the years I’ve slowly added tools I can use to my own anxiety toolbox, and things have really improved. I’m no psychologist, but if sharing my experience can help someone out, I’ll share what has worked for me.
what works for me:
Meditation
But not like the way meditation is always presented. I mean taking five minutes to breathe and focus on one sense at a time. Usually I close my eyes and just breathe really slowly, Actually, I really love using the nadi shodhana yoga technique—it looks kind of weird, so maybe don’t use this one in public, but it’s amazing for stress relief and has actually brought me down from panic attacks before.
Gratitude
I once heard someone say that gratitude is the enemy of anxiety and I have to say it’s not a bad assertion. Focusing on even the smallest, least consequential areas of your life that are helpful to you can shift your mental perspective.
Telling Someone
You’re going to feel crazy sometimes. It’s just a side effect. Though when I’ve started feeling a panic attack come on, just shooting a text to someone that lets them know I’m going through one can really help make your feelings smaller, just the tiniest bit more controlled. it’s undoubtedly tough to tell people about your mental health struggles, but it’s 2020 and I say that the stigma can kindly get the hell out.
Planning & Organization
Your new best friends? Planning out your life and organizing everything from your possessions to your calendar might just help with that control piece I mentioned. The big bad world seems less scary and more predictable the more in order I have my life. When I get stressed, I tend to start cleaning or making lists because it’s something tangible I can do to improve my situation.
Recognizing Safety in Others
If you feel vulnerability over your emotional or mental states, you’re going to need to know when others are draining your energy or latching on to your struggle as a way to feel superior or “needed”. Recognize the people in your life who will listen with unselfish hearts to what you’re going through, especially without downplaying your experience or drowning it out with stories about their own. Feeling drained or resentful after confiding in someone are telltale signs that they’re just not safe enough to tell about your vulnerabilities.
Affirmations
Again, this is kind of a cliche, but reminding yourself that you’re safe and that this isn’t the end of the world are key. I write some of these out on post-it notes and leave them in places where I get anxious, like my desk at work or in my bag for when I’m on the train. Some I use on a weekly basis are:
you are safe.
nothing is the end of the world.
it’s all going to be okay, even if you need to press pause on an important task.
Coloring
Seriously. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. Coloring, like several art forms, is a type of active meditation, which makes it a great activity to start when your mind is racing and you need something to focus on. After 5 minutes or 30 or 60, you’ll find your thoughts quieting a bit and that you’re getting lost in strokes and shapes and lines.
Tools I might add to my box -
Books
They’re a more affordable way to get insight from doctors and professionals than therapy is. Not saying therapy isn’t necessary because OH BOY IT IS. But, resources and access are 100 percent factors in mental health treatment, so if you can’t afford therapy, books or blogs might be a good resource.
Medication
While I’m not on medication, I’ve considered taking it in the past. If you use medication, GOOD. You should be doing exactly what you need to do to manage your anxiety and if taking medication is currently part of that, then you’re doing it correctly. I’ll definitely consider it again if things get worse.
A lot of these are, in essence, coping skills. They’re the things I turn to when I need to fight back against the fear I feel. As they’re skills, they take practice. Practice takes effort. Acknowledge your struggles. Don’t be afraid to lean into others or ask for help along the way. Anxiety doesn’t make you weak!!!
